mental masturbation

one of the homies was telling us bout his crazy old lady neighbor. one day, as he was on the driveway moving shit into his car she asked him, "are you moving?". he replied "no". then she says, "good, cause if you are, i'll keel you." followed by a wicked snicker.

what the fuck is that?

the homies joked that he shoulda replied "not if i rape and kill you first!". actually they had the order wrong so i corrected them; the better reply would be "not if I kill you first then rape you biatch!"

that conversation stuck in my head as I had hotpot the next nite w/ the liger and ms. short fatty. the liger was kind to offer her a magic cookie. she joked "gosh you guys are such bad influence. if my dad knew about this, he'd kill you guys". instinctively and without hesitation I replied "NOT IF I CAP THAT MOTHERFUCKER FIRST! BLING BLING NIGGAH!!! THATS HOW WE DO IN SAN JOSE! YEAZON!"