Bald Guy getting a haircut

You know what amazes me . . . BALD DUDES getting hair cuts. Wouldn't you think a bald man would savior the last strand of his hair, NO . . . not true. This cat was actually directing the barber to cut a little here and a little there. WHY you ask, because he's so be fade wasn't center. NIGGA YOU ARE FUCKING BALD, you're whole head is thrown off . . . GET SOME FUCKING PLUGS FOO ... JESUS CHRIST . . . why do people hold on to the past . . .

the handshake

def. A handshake is a short ritual in which two people grasp each other's right or left hand often accompanied by a brief up and down movement of the grasped hands. While its origins remain obscure, archaeological ruins and ancient texts show that handshaking was practiced as far back as the 2nd century BC.

There are many types of handshakes...the limp handshake, the hand-crusher handshake, the sweaty palms handshake, and so on and so forth (you can even include the high five, the fist bump, etc). I today introduce you to a new handshake, the handshake in which you give to an asian man who is with a white woman. Next time you see a asian man with a white woman, go up to him and say..."hello sir, my name is , and i just wanted to shake your hand".

What if she is ugly/fat/prego/etc. you ask? In this case, if the asian man is shorter than the white woman (which is usually the case), shake his hand. Otherwise....point and laugh.

Panda Express: A taste of T'ien

Confucius advised the Chinese long time ago (when he was just chillin right now) that they should not worry about heavenly matters over immediate earthly ones. 

The creaters of Panda Express, a high-class authentic Chinese eatery, obviously did not get that message.  At least that's the impression left upon the senses of those frequenting the restaurant.

The orange chicken, chow-mien and egg rolls take guests back to a time when chinese restaurants were not yet caught up in wave of globalization and making Chinese food more "American friendly."

While Confucius might wonder how Express chefs conjure up such delicacies with earthly means, food lovers are not beefing, unless of course they're devouring the authentic  beef and broccoli. 

"I love this place," said mortgage banker Everett Jones of La Jolla. "Makes me feel like I am in the Wuhan"

Accompanied by his wife Wei, the young couple slowly pace through their 3-item combination plates.

"This is how we do it in San Diego," he said, while staring into her eyes.

 

Please Move

YOU STUPID FUCKING STUPID 4'11 DOUCHEBAG AH DU MA.

1) YOUR FAT ASS should not be wearing a wifebeater at the GYM if you have a belly.
2) WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DRINK OUT OF THE WATER FOUNTAIN AND NOT MOVE. GET OFF YOUR FUCKING CELL PHONE, YOU ARE NOT COOL. I HATE YOU . . .
3) I AM TALLER THAN YOU SITTING DOWN . . . FUCK YOU . . . It's funny how you need to hop on a little chair to grab the lat bar? A fucking midget with a belly shouldn't work out, you should be in circus soleil, you fucking freak.

BUT your short girlfriend . . . she is hot. VERY HOT . . . I really want to bent her over and stick my penis in her ass. Then take it out and rub it around her eye. Obviously now showering will be involved, EVEN BETTER she can poo on my penis a little so I can take that shit out and rub it all over her mouth and lips . . . and when she goes home to you . . . a nice kiss goodnight.

PRETTY MUCH FUCK YOU, YOU MIDGET FOUNTAIN BLOCKER, I HOPE YOU die and YOUR GIRLFRIEND GETS TRAINED BY a GROUP OF NIGGERS and catch AIDS . . .

White Wash Asians . . . What are they good for?

Society would call them Twinkies, I simply call them fags. My question is why? Why would you denounce 5000 years of history, to say "EH BRO, lets go to Hermosa in my new truck and get smashed BRO."

We all have come across this breed of Asian. He is the lone Asian in a group of 8 whiteys. He is happy to be away from his own kind, you couldn't tell he is there because of his height. Finally, what these fags are most subconscious about are their facial features which is also the most defining aspects of their Asian qualities (Chinky eyes, Asian fade and black rim glasses.)

The fags would never speak in his native tongue. 90% of the time he would reject the most beautiful Asian girls (would only exclusively date the fat white girl), all while making crude compliments on his best friend Jim's Dodge Ram.

Now why do we need these fags around? Simply put, they are the liaison to the white world.

To be honest, I don't know what the fuck a whitey is saying to me half the time. I can understand the white man from the Northern California with easy, but not so good the others.(Northern California Whites are cool white people, any other white are confusing whites or retarded whites). . . as we would say,“their tongue speaks is intriguing yet confusing”. For me, I normally just nod and say, "OH damn I wish they would play some Journey."

See with a white wash Asian fag, they can be your translator . . . I say umm ok I'm down, to the fag then he will translate, . . . "BRO, DUDE BRO, he wants to go get slammed at the local ______ and hang out with some Chicks bro, maybe bring them back to your sick pad . . . but BRO lets start off with some shots of Jager, dude and then some Jager bombs . . . he wants to get crazy."

White washed Asian girls, the bad news about them; they are usually fat and ugly. THE VERY REASON WHY THEY ARE WHITE WASHED. Take a look at the Asian Female Community. Most Asian girls are considered exotic, beautiful, sexy, and skinny. They are the most desirable race by all males. It's almost a broken record, GOD she so skinny and she eats so much, I hate her? (Normally from another race)

A white washed Asian girl, lets call them FAU (short for Fat and Ugly) normally are fat. How can a fat girl be included in such an exclusive sorority?

1) Who the fuck desires a fat Asian, (will maybe Black dudes.). Because a fat Asian is a Fat ASIAN, there is no between. She is not a thick, she is just fat and I don't mean PHAT, i mean FAT

2) She is probably ugly and dark. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Which brings me to another point, seeing how America is the most obese nation in the world, I can see why this atrocity, would want to be white wash, the ACCEPTANCE.
Once a girl told me, I feel and think like a white girl. "BITCH WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY”. Since, she grew up white, hang out with only white people, so by association she must be white. WHAT A DUMB WHORE (She mention she grew up somewhere in the Midwest)

Funny as she was talking, all I can think of is, " why are you so fat? Maybe you are FUCKING white because Asian girls are not that fat, what the fuck did your parents feed you?"
I kid you not, The more she talked, the fatter she got . . . all I can see is her already enlarged torso getting fatter and her pig like face getting bigger, with her nose beginning to push in. Now what are white wash Asian girls good for? Maybe a hand job and pass of to your white friends.

AZN MAN LAW 52

Favorite Channel ummm definately AZN (257) then ESPN probably History Channel after that . . . Discovery Channel maybe Travel Channel . . .Man I miss Asia . . . right now @ this moment . . . if I had a choice I would be in China @ a Peking Duck restaurant devouring duck skin faster than a crack head shooting up his first fix of the day or at the night market getting drunk, eating god knows what but loving every taste and stumbling home w/ my cousins. ANYWHERE IN ASIA acutally would make me happy . . . Thailand, Korea, Japan . . . even Freaking TAIWAN . . . EVERYTIME WHEN I watch AZN I miss Asia. . .

Am I too old to move back . . . :-/

June from What's Up Thailand . . . Gorgeous . . . if only she can speak real English not Thailglish . . . but hey girls w/ Fobby accents . . . HELLA cute . . . the voice ummm very soothing and soft . . . kind of heart melting in a sense . . . and if they can speak Mandarin . . . WOW WOW WOW . . . straight BOM CHICKA WAH WAH . . . therefore my conclusion . . . if you understand your native language (i.e. Mandarin) and a girl can make you laugh (not @ her but w/ her) WHILE SPEAKING YOUR native tongue constantly (she must also have a voice that is calming and soothing to the soul) . . . that girl is a KEEPER . . . AZNMAN LAW 52

sunglasses are used to block the haters

Sunglasses are used to block the haters. Think about it. Why would you want someone to look at your eyes. Is there any positive that can come out of someone looking into your eyes? Do you feel that every passing face must get a view of your soul through your eyes so that it may be embedded into their memories for eternity? Are you trying to be discovered by a Hollywood casting agent or would you rather block haters? That's what I thought.

AZN MAN LAW 46

AZN MAN LAW 46

Asian girls w/ black hair gorgeous . . . BUT Asian girls w/ PURE DYED BLONDE hair will stop traffic . . . every Asian guy single, married, bisexual or EVEN THE GAY will stop in their tracks no matter what's going on around them . . . for 45 seconds regardless of how ugly or beautiful she is will have a conversation as followed (w/ a fellow male . . . a complete stranger maybe) . . . DAMN THAT GIRL FINE ASS HELL . . . SHE IS HELLA FINE . . . OH MAN OH MAN DID YOU SEE THAT . . . CHECK IT OUT CHECK IT OUT . . . DAMN . . . DAMN WHAT SHE VIETNAMESE nah LAOS . . . DAMN I'M GOING TO HOLLA @ THAT . . . 45 Seconds later . . . after the initial shock . . . the preceding conversation will go . . . man She ain't all that . . . shiiieet . . . she's alright . . . man she too skinny . . . SHE AIN'T CHINESE OR KOREAN SHE STRAIGHT HMONG . . .

AZN MAN LAW 19

AZN MAN LAW 19

My Fellow Asian brothers . . . look in your closet . . . Do you have a black Dress shirt . . . off course you do . . . if you say " NO " you're lying to me and yourself . . . Now do you have a white t-shirt . . . AGAIN . . . Don't be a Liar . . . off course you do . . . NOW it's Saturday night and it's time to go clubbing . . . IVAR, STANDARD, SUNSET even VEGAS STRIP . . . HOLLA HOLLA time . . . BUT FIRST STOP

IF YOU ARE GOING TO WEAR A Black DRESS Shirt and your white T-Shirt . . . DON'T WEAR THEM TOGETHER . . . JUST WEAR A BLACK DRESS SHIRT OR A NICE WHITE T-SHIRT . . . BUT DON'T AGAIN DO NOT . . . WEAR A BLACK DRESS SHIRT W/ A WHITE T-SHIRT UNDERNEATH . . . IT'S ONE OR THE OTHER NOT A COMBINATION . . . THIS IS NOT PHO 1 LARGE W/ THE RARE STEAK ON THE SIDE . . . SHOW SOME CHEST SKIN LIKE YOU 3 GENERATION GANGSTA DEEP IN THE TRIAD . . . GODSPEED

TIBET

FUCK TIBET . . . The bottom line, it is 2008, China’s economy is still growing @ an 8 to 9% pace even with a 50% correction in the market. What does that mean? China will BE A SUPERPOWER . . . WHICH ALSO MEANS The West will invest BILLIONS into China and NO they are not going to stop. Once the investment stops, the concept of "emerging market" will become a self-sufficient market. What does that mean? There will be a powerful Middle Class and a working lower class. Tibet will never be free.
All you human rights go getters, what happen to the 100 plus Chinese that were murder . . . no sorrows or grief. No anger by a CIA Tactician, The Dolly MAMA? It’s a double-sided sword. Don’t act like the rest of the world is made of roses and giggles. Every country has their evils. Let the family deal with the family business.
If you want to give back something; Give Arizona back to the Navajos or New York back to the Iroquois.
Fuck your mother w/ a Rusty Nail if you support Tibet ’s I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.C.E. . . Thank you. :-)

Azn Man Law 21

AZN MAN LAW 21

if your 30 + years old, it’s time to let the Integra go. The HKS exhaust is no longer cool . . . Loud = Annoying . . . yes let me repeat myself . . . LOUD = ANNOYING . . . your car was cool back in 1997 . . . that was more than a decade ago . . .

This is what the B game looks like ->
Loud Exhaust = very Annoying + only girl you’ll get is a 18 Year old Fobby Korean Chick or Cambodian (Very Dark 16 years old) or a Japanese (18 years old with tree trunk like calves and a forest between her inner loins) + constantly being laughed by your non-asian friends.

This is not the Money Shot . . . if you think your an Asian thug . . . Rappers are buying Luxury cars . . . not Integras w/ Greddy or HKS exhaust . . .

But if you are a true Racer . . . than move to Japan cuz u r way too old to be street racing at 30 + yrs old . . . go find an Engineering job at Honda . . . and get PAID so you can afford a S2000 or something . . .

Thank you

Azn Man Law 8

Azn Man Law 8

sense and sensibility; Why do i say this . . . because it makes no sense to argue w/ a stubborn Asian girl (S.A.G). The unrestraint "NOs", "So" and the EVIL EYE will shock your sensibility.
My 2 cents against this passionate creature the S.A.G; agree to disagree; selective hearing and uncharacteristic trickery.
Before you say WHAT? are you just using big words . . . let me explain . . .
1) Agree to Disagree . . . WHY, will simply put, it’ll steer the conversation from an argument to ok, let’s just move on. But yet you don’t lose the battle. It will give you more time to plot your next step from the dread "NO".
2) Selective Hearing . . . She says "I don’t feel like doing this." You hear," not right now, lets do this 2 hrs from now." Just enough time for her to forget what the conversation was about, and for you to change the reason why you are doing what you are doing.
3)Uncharacteristic trickery . . . now this is a sticky situation. You have to bend the truth but do not lie . . . LYING IS THE 1 SIN to the S.A.G; I.E. if she is sick and refuses to go to the Hospital, simply have a friend call and say Larry Lee just had a mental anguish disorder (M.A.D), he needs a ride home; give the location which is a hospital or clinic . . . BAM there she is, act confused and give the "please just do this for me" look. Normally the S.A.G is a compassionate and easy going individual when confronted w/ the look of confusion and sincereity. In most instances she would give in and go to the doctor. If she doesn’t, will that means you didn’t follow the proper procedure and you blew it. Start over again, and be patience.
*MAD is a common diease associated to Asian males.*
All three steps must be completed in this order, any mixture might result in a serious . . . TONGUE LASHING . . . Thank you . . .

Sunglasses at night

Do you know what really grinds my gears?

Guys that wear sunglasses AT NIGHT to a bar or a club (in order to look cool). However, if you are blind or somehow just had lasik surgery but needed to go out clubbing you are exempt. Otherwise, to all you douchebags:

Please realize that you look like a fucking faggot. Have you ever seen a guy wearing sunglasses at a bar actually talk to a girl? No. Have you ever seen a guy wearing sunglasses on the dance floor dance with a girl? No. These retards all hang out at the bar (either by themselves or with their douchebag buddies performing a circle jerk), stare at every girl that approaches, but never gets any play. You wonder why. Well, let me tell you why.

Sunglasses are made to block harmful UV rays from damaging your eyes. In even simpler terms, they are glasses used in conjunction with the sun. Granted, there are cool looking sunglasses, that might make somebody more attractive, but the key here is to use them in the correct setting. WHICH MEANS OUTSIDE, DURING THE DAY. Should I wear a bee keeper's head gear inside a club because it makes me look more mysterious? No. Should I use a flashlight outside during the daytime so I can see better? No.

There are times and places for certain types of fashion and equipment. People who wear sunglasses inside are trying to bring that "cool" look from the outside during the day, to the inside at night. It is dark enough inside a club, I know you can't see shit. I can barely see shit. If you're wearing sunglasses inside you probably have a tore up face and are trying to mask 30% of it and look cool at the same time. Let me tell you this. Girls do not think you look cool or are mysterious. Let me repeat. You are a fucking retard. If this was Iran I would call the morality police on you to take you away and torture your stupid ass until you realize how ridiculous you look and force you to make a public apology to everybody.

Normally trivial things like this don't bother me, but if I see somebody at a club wearing sunglasses it annoys me to even look at you, thus I get angered, and thus you kill my good time buzz. Please don't kill my buzz. Just stop being a fucking retard and maybe one day a girl will talk to you.

Next to me

Normally I would only have 2 post a day . . . but really . . . REALLY black guy next to me . . .

DO you really need to blast u r trance music louder then life @ 11:18 AM in the morning. REALLY your black, you don't listen to trance, this is not Ibiza and STOP SMILING . . . you look ridiculous . . . smile at night if i need a flash light or something . . . give me some perks,

R U OBLIVIOUS . . . everyone around you has been giving you dirty looks . . . STOP playing this ridiculous music when u r sober and be black . . . thank you . . . i will email this blog to you right now.

when is Fat . . . PHAT

The Classic question . . . Do you think I'm Fat . . . why are girls so fucking stupid . . . Yes you are fat, just go on a diet . . . but who cares, we'll still fuck you . . . if not a skinny Asian guy, then a big black guy will.

Relax . . . from 100 lb to 145 lb is not really that bad, your tits are bigger, your ass is rounder. Granted you're stomach might be the size of a pregnant woman BUT only in Whiteyland are you consider obese, hideous and a creature, that not even Quasimodo would touch . . . to the Darky's, you're a goddess, Ivory Princess fit for a King, you will be showered with gold "BLING" and 1 dollar bills . . . if you're lucky you'll make BET late Night.

Of course in Asian Culture, the Yellowman will think you're wealthy, and be after you're Dowry. See Asian's are sneaky and evil, especially the Taiwanese, the Taiwanese are like the Persian Jews . . . deceiving, cheap and short . . . They'll rape your sister, then say, hey condolence to your sister, if she needs anything I am here for her and your family . . . I seen this happen, and they like to eat Beattlejuice, LOW CLASS (Taiwanese = Persian Jew.)

So yes your fat, but in what CULTURE is FAT considered PHAT . . .